Dreams are the escape from reality
Reality is the escape from dreams.
you are everywhere.
Is there no place to escape from you?
I need to find a place where you cease to exist.
I need to find a place where you are not a part of my world
We are trapped
and caged with each other
inside my thoughts
As much as you want
and try to get out.
I am trying the same
and smell the air of freedom
once I stop loving you
and free us both.
- Sam #elandjacob
I have recently taken an interest in history and future at the same time. PRESENT doesn’t entice me anymore. So, anyways I have picked up Holocaust from the past and about future, we will discuss that in some other post… Some other day.
I just finished watching the documentary ‘Forgiving Dr Mengele’ which talks about the unaccounted for experiments that Dr Mengele used to do on twins. There is no records of what exactly he did and he never discussed the same with anyone. But the atrocities that the Jews went through and survived. Well, there are stories to be discussed.
This documentary talks about one of the ‘Mengele twins’ by the name of Eva Mozes Kor who talks about how they were separated from their family and were kept alive because the doctor wanted to conduct experiments on twins.
Eva talks about how she has forgiven the Nazis and how she has liberated herself. She received a lot of criticism for the same from the other survivors because for them it was not easy to let go of the anger. I completely understand how and why they wouldn’t be OK with what Eva did but what they fail to understand is that Eva did not forget what all she went through but she could not let the past affect her present more than she could help. She could never erase the past nor she could forget it but she could free herself from seeking answers and frustrating herself over what could not be answered now. She went through the worst in the world history and she lives with it each day and it is not easy. She just wants to let it go now and stop being a victim and I don’t see anything wrong in that.
Rest, I pray for the souls that departed during that time. It was painful…. It was uncalled for and it was unfair. The pain that the families went through are beyond our imagination and we can never say ‘I understand’.
Shruti Sharma/ Sam
I believe myself to be an independent person. Yes, I have been falsely accused of being the type who needs a male to take care of her but i know for a fact that I am not that person. And I have never been that person and certainly don’t intend to be in the near or the far future. Today, I am writing on this topic because few days back I was in a situation something related to this only. I met a friend’s date and my younger sister and her friends were also there and they are below 21 so no liquor for them but one of her friends managed to buy a pint of beer and manager got furious and wanted to take action. Now, I know for a fact that I could have handled that situation very peacefully but my friend insisted on her date to take care of the matter. I was sitting right there and listening to the conversation and suddenly said something and my dear friend shushed me and said “don’t worry he can handle it.” Emmmmm….. Ok! And how he handled it. Well he vouched for three of us and completely denied any familiarity with my sister and her friends. I found a bit odd. But what really made me squirm was the fact that my friend shushed me. I could have handled it. So, now we come to the topic of handling my own shit. I have always been the person who is very independent and I prefer not to take anybody’s help unless there is nothing that I can do about it. I prefer traveling on my own. I don’t want my dates to pick or drop me back because I know how to travel and I am not a kid who cannot travel alone. This irritates me the most. I don’t want to be treated like a princess/ kid or whatever notion is in the head of people. Oh! I don’t believe this as a way of pampering someone, at least not me. At the end of the day,I want to be responsible for my own actions and I don’t like to find excuses and that’s what precisely happens when you let people do you a ‘favor’ yes that is termed as favor in my dictionary. I know I can handle my own shit. I always have. And I always will.
It has been close to one year now since we parted our ways. Well more like you disappeared without an explanation which did hurt by the way! A lot. Pure cowardice…. We could have talked. Anyways, this particular category was about our story. And I want to keep pursuing the posts for this and I know I can do it all my life but I need to stop it, for now, because how hard I have tried it still hurts. I miss you and then I think about you which then turns into a vicious circle with me breaking down quite few times and I cannot allow that to happen. Weakness is not for me. Not my strongest forte. I will get back to this category some day. May be after few months, two years, five years, ten years. I don’t know. But I can’t write about us right now…. Too much to handle. So, for now this is good bye. I will return to write about Rick and Sam and about El and Jacob. Need to complete that story as well. Well at least that will get an ending…. A clear ending.
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I am ashamed!
I cannot see myself in the mirror!
I am disappointed with the fact that I am a human being!
Today, I don’t have enough words to express how I feel. I am speechless and I wish I could be blind. Religions were not supposed to do this to us. To let one human kill another in the name of religion. We have forgotten how to be humans. We have forgotten that we were all made in God’s image so that, in simple words, mean, that we are all equal. How does it matter if someone is Hindu or Muslim or Christian. How does it matter if we pray to different gods. What matters is we all breathe same air. We all strive to survive. We all wake up in the morning and sleep at night. So how is one different from another?
Children were shot at in Pakistan. What had those kids done? What was their fault? They were kids… studying…. in a school…. unarmed. Was that their fault?
It breaks my heart to see how this world is not a place I want to live in anymore. People have become sadist, selfish and get pleasure when somebody is in pain. They hurt animals, they hurt children, they rob, they kill, they murder, they rape, they mutilate…. WHY? WHY? WHY?
My plea is to people from all over the world. Just about everywhere, if you are breathing, if you wake up every morning and sleep at night. This is for you. Today, on this day I shun my religion and from today on I will say my religion is humanity. Nothing more…. nothing less. We have to put an end to these….. these fights… wars… battles…. killings…. attacks….. in the name of religion or anything else. We have to put an end to all of this.
I shun the concept of countries, borders, anything that divides one human from another. We have had enough now. I don’t want any color, race, religion to define me. I am only a human being and that’s all I want to be. That’s how I want to be defined.
Are you with me in this? Will you stop saying that you are Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Sikh, Jain, Baniya or anything like that? Will you sing along and say that I AM A HUMAN AND MY RELIGION IS HUMANITY.
Thanks a lot,