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July 6, 2013

I know a few things about me now, yes, after a much researched situations and emotions. Firstly, I don’t belong to the happy clan. I am not the sort of person who is happy by being happy. Too much happiness keeps me wondering what’s wrong. I have been a very unhappy person but was always secure about myself that ways. Happiness snatches my securities and pushes me into a whirlpool of too many emotions and insecurities. People always tell me that I should be a happy person, after reading my poems and articles and always suggesting ways to make a poem less pessimistic. But I somehow, always liked my endings, the never-ending searches, the anticipation of the desired result etc. Such things always gave me inspiration. Happiness takes away my inspiration. It makes me a dumb and non creative being. I tried happiness, quite a lot I must say but it did me no good. I gave it a good year or so. I tried all the laughs, all the things that happy people do but it gave me nothing in return instead it took away everything I had and all I was left with was happiness. Duh?? It’s not as if that’s going to help me anyhow.

I changed city for a new beginning, because I was happy but after staying here for a week I realised that happiness is not the key to my success. It’s the exact opposite that has always worked for me and that always will be the answer of all my questions. Sadness found me and I am happy about it. It’s one of the biggest examples of irony I suppose. So, I am heading back to my city in a day and with a bag full of inspirational sadness but now I know, I will be ok.




From → I AM!

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